Fit, ready and available for offers…but not from Tottenham
Out-of-work Jack Wilshere is hoping to attract the attention of potential new clubs by seeking the help of ‘marketing gurus’ in Paddy Power’s latest video.
The spoof clip sees two marketing execs kick-off their meeting by presenting their “Retirement plans for Jack Wilshere” – but just six months after leaving Bournemouth, the former Arsenal star reminds them that he hasn’t yet hung up his boots.
So, the duo are forced to skip past their suggested next steps for him, including I’m A Celebrity or creating his own NFT.
Instead, Wilshere is presented with a ‘digital strategy’ for getting him back in the game – because if strapping a GoPro to his head “every time he takes a pre-game dump” keeps 38-year-old Ben Foster relevant, it’ll work for him too.
Despite his protestations, the former England international has a go at some of the tasks set, including how to write the perfect apology message à la Bruno Fernandes. Wilshere shares his attempt at a real-world example: “Sorry I forgot to take the bins out this week. Wasn’t good enough, and not what the house deserves.”
Not forgetting that all important line, “We go again next week.”
Viewers are then taken on a journey of the creation of Wilshere’s digital dossier, which includes doing loads of keepie-uppies and eating a sandwich to symbolise his “hunger” to return to football.
But after the midfielder declares his frustration with the process, he decides to keep things simple. Turning to the camera, Wilshere speaks directly to clubs as he says: “Jack Wilshere. Fit, ready and available for offers.”
Just not from Tottenham.
Spokesman Paddy Power said: “Jack Wilshere hasn’t actually retired from football yet – who knew?! He’s still a top professional though, so we wanted to do our bit to help him get back in the game.
“But, being pretty good at football just won’t cut it anymore – you have to excel in other areas, such as having millions of Instagram followers, or filming yourself eating breakfast for your TikTok channel.
“Thankfully, Jack understood the need to improve his digital profile and really threw himself into the process. In fact, I’d go as far to say that his acting display was an even better performance than that night against Barcelona.”